Despite there being a healthy renaissance for butt play in recent years, backdoor entry is still a deal-breaker for many women — a no-way, no-how, entirely off-limits scenario. Still, more than a third of women For some women, like me, anal sex can be a mind-blowing addition to the bedroom. Anal sex has always been a welcome precursor to vaginal penetration and other below-the-belt play. The key, for me, is to have a patient partner — one whom I trust. Oh, and plenty of lube. For me to engage in anal sex, I need to be fully relaxed, lubed, and ready.

Emma Kaywin, a Brooklyn-based sexual health writer and activist, is here to calm your nerves and answer your questions. Q: My boyfriend has been talking to me about trying anal sex. I'm open to the idea, but I want to know more about it first.

Maybe you've always found anal sex intriguing but never worked up the guts to try it, or perhaps you weren't curious until a friend started singing its praises. No matter the reason behind your attraction to the idea, diving into that uncharted sexual territory can be scary. What if it hurts like crazy? Or you completely lose control of your bowels at the worst moment possible? There are plenty of valid concerns, but it's also possible to overcome those feelings and potentially discover a mind-blowing new activity that becomes a bedroom staple.